the Good Cookie
August 17, 2006
for all the teased brown people out there, i want to relate a little story my mother used to tell me as a young child.
one day God looked down at the world he had created and realized it was missing something. he decided that such a beautiful place needed people to enjoy it.
and so he went about creating Humans.
God rolled out the dough, and used a special cookie cutter to form girls and boys. then he put his creation in the oven and waited for them to cook.
unfortunately, God was distracted, and by the time he remembered his Humans, they were burnt.
a patient God, he tried again. only this time, he was so worried about burning his creation that he took them out too early. now they were pale and uncooked.
on his third try, determined to get it perfect, God used a timer. this time, when he took out the Humans, they were a golden brown. they were perfect.
ok, so i was a very, very, very young child to actually have swallowed this. but considering that i was the only nonwhite(let alone brown and therefore new phenomenon) in my kindergarten class, this made me feel quietly superior when all the other kids made fun of me. hell, i was the GOOD cookie. they were the yucky mushy ones!
now i have a feeling there are going to be a few of you who are going to yell RACIST. all of you, chill. rather than explain how living near the equator in certain climates over time increased melatonin levels to the point where people varied from golden to dark black, my mom opted for something a five-year-old could grasp: cookies.
plus anyways, i like my cookies burnt around the edges and mushy in the middle.
you know you envy our tan though 
