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the petsmart fiasco

August 7, 2006

my adorable dog lexii have this wonderful, simply adorable golden retriever whom everyone loves. it’s impossible not to when she looks at you with those imploring, melty-brown eyes, resting her precious face on your knee.

unfortunately, she gets stinky. as much as i love her, my nose says NO. well i finally find a petsmart that will take her a little over a half hour away from my house. no problem, there’s a mall nearby where i can spend more money on clothes, shoes, and other accessories i don’t need during the 3 hours it takes to get my little stinker clean. so we’re all set, i mummify the dog in a sheet so that she doesn’t hair my car too badly on the drive down.

did i mention that adorable as my dog is, she’s rather excitable? she gets a tad nervous around lots of people, activity, or other canine comrades. this is, of course, exactly the environment petsmart has. all i wanted to do was walk in the store, drop her off at the grooming salon, and be on my merry way. but noooooo, they have to put the salon waaaaaaay on the other side of the store with a veritable gauntlet ahead of us. dozens of people, yapping dogs, and clattering carts are between us and the grooming salon. i drag my dog along, seeing her panicked face as we started out. the puppies start barking at her, 1/3 of her size, and she skitters one direction. a cart bears down on her so that, tail between her legs, she leaps back towards the puppies. at the worse possible second, some nice old man decides to come pet her.

lo and behold, my nervous little fur face loses control of her bladder right there in the middle of the store. her tail flicks back and forth. i’m in the splash zone. just pure and complete embarrassment. some poor guy working at the store has to come clean it up.

we finally made it to the grooming salon where she tries to hide her peed-on-self practically on top of me because a terrier is eyeballing her. did i mention my dog is 55 pounds? my dog could sit on that dog and win, but instead she stuck her head behind my leg, rubbing her cold, gooey nose behind my knee. <sigh>
nor could i get rid of her because the wonderfully efficient people at petsmart made an itsy bitsy mistake: they needed an updated rabies certificate before taking her. so you ask, well shouldn’t i have known that? no, because when i made the appointment, i gave them the vet’s phone number so they could call and confirm about the rabies shot. of course, the wonderfully efficient people at petsmart forgot to call, and now it was sunday and the vet was closed.

by the way, this all takes about a half hour of talking to the manager about possibly letting it slide. meanwhile, my dog is whimpering and getting more freaked out by the minute. some little kids come pet her which calms her down while at the same time making me grimace when i think of her urine-soaked fur.

finally, i give up, and let them know i wouldn’t be bringing my business back here anytime soon. in the back of my head i’m thinking that if they’d seen the pee-pee adventure, they’d probably be happy.

on our way out the store, my dog is gasping air and clawing tile in a mighty effort to exit her idea of hell on earth.

and so i return back home 1.5 hours later, my dog dirtier than when we started.

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