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surfed other blogs, this one is a MUST read

August 14, 2006

so today i thought i should see what other people write about. i spent a lot of time surfing through stuff i don’t care about, i.e. news, politics, etc. this probably makes me shallow. i guess because trying to get my mind around all that stuff, especially what’s going on in the middle east right now, is exhausting. and i don’t mean that i’m lazy and don’t care to understand, it’s that i see no end to it. no solution. it makes me feel hopeless.

and so i do my light newspaper reading, read a lot of idiots guides to iran, iraq, and other countries so entrenched in the muck of hate, of anger and violence that i cannot comprehend, but that’s the extent of my duty.

instead, i want to know people. maybe that’s why one of my majors is psychology, although i think a major reason for that might have been to evaluate whether or not i’m nutso. so anyways, i spent hours combing through people’s blogs, trying to find people like me who are just trying to understand life and themselves a little better. who’s blog did i fall hard for? compartments: an escort’s weblog.

yeah, i know, little shocking. this woman took my by complete surprise (note: first i typed girl before consciously deleting that. have you noticed how men call females of all ages “girls” when they’re being condescending? especially when it comes to things relating to porn, models, or other categories where they feel superior or have no respect. i will not do that). she’s extremely intelligent and insightful. her blog’s just four months old so i began what will probably become an addiction: reading every single one of her posts.

i try not to be judgemental. i want to be open-minded, because i know that people do not and have not always given me a chance, and i don’t want to be them. of course, i’m far from perfect, and fail at this all the time. so, as a woman, i’ve thought about prostitution and curled my lip in disgust. these women degrade us.

or so i thought. this blog shattered all of my preconceived notions of a call girl (again, GIRL). i sympathize with this woman. some of her thoughts are mine. even more are truths about the world that i haven’t even contemplated. i might even be able to go so far as to say i like this woman, whoever she is. hard as nails, but vulnerable too. someone worthy of respect. that’s a huge leap from my thought processes an hour ago, before i read her blog.

at first, i was going to revise my opinion by saying, “men degrade us”. i don’t think that’s the truth either, as much as some of the “john’s” she describes are disgusting in their behavior and treatment.

i think we degrade ourselves, or allow ourselves to be degraded. in essence, this might mean that women like this, who the rest of the population might condemn as disgusting, might not necessarily be degraded depending on their outlook and spirit. meanwhile, maybe that virtuous wife who stays home, caring for the children while completely cognizant that her husband is off romping with his secretary, silent when she detects another woman’s perfume on his shirts she’s laundering, maybe that’s the woman who is really degraded.

something to think about. meanwhile, check out the escort’s blog, let me know your feelings. it’s made me wonder that if blog-writing was mandatory, maybe we would at least come to a grudging compassion for even the worst of our enemies.

then again, if hitler had a blog, i don’t know that i desire to understand or feel any compassion towards him. does that undue all my earnest aspirations to be a kind and open-minded person to all?

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