who’s talking about you?

January 4, 2007

gossip can be a very ugly thing. most boys don’t do it. they’re more stoic about what they get pissed off about, and when they do get angry, they’re more likely to duke it out or something. girls on the other hand thrive on gossip. in general, girls are sneaky, behind-the-scenes creatures.

anyways, shove a few drinks into our hands and watch the venom spew forth. if we were just talking about how adorable tiffany’s shoes were yesterday, or good lord, that boy is mcdreamy material, that would be fine. unfortunately, girl gossip usually takes a turn for the catty. tiffany dresses like a tramp or i saw mcdreamy first, can you believe samantha started hitting on him?!

i don’t get along with girls all that well. i’m starting to think that’s purely because of gossip. not because they gossip and i, on my moral high horse, don’t. i’m probably just as bad if not worse than my girlfriends. i think that because we all gossip to each other all the time, we know we’re being gossiped about too.

new year’s day, i woke up pissed off because a friend of mind had made an elaborate meal and wanted us all to come for lunch. i wanted to spend at least the beginning of the first day of 2007 waking up after noon and sitting in front of the tv in my big fluffy bathrobe eating yummy food. instead, on her insistence, i had to wake up earlier, shower, and go deal with people at her place. it’s not even a big deal, but when i can’t do things my way, i throw a tantrum.

now the rest of our group of girls has had a few problems with the friend in question because she bails on us and barely calls to hang out ever since she joined a sorority. so of course the mean part of me is still stuck on this, and i ranted to my roommate about our mutual friend, saying that this lunch isn’t about her wanting to spend time with us. it’s about her wanting to feel domestic and have people over at her place (there were boys invited). none of this is going to make very much sense to you, so just go with it.

well i went. and the friend in question was utterly sweet. and i felt horrible. eventually, i had to get going. meanwhile, the only person left was my roommate. i remember very reluctantly leaving the room, scared almost, because i could imagine my roommate bringing up everything i’d said this morning to our friend in question. or talking about how drunk i was during new year’s eve. or multiple other bad things.

i know my roommate talks. she’s no better than me. apparently she told one of my friends while tipsy that i’m “possessive of my friends”. i can’t get mad at that one since it doesn’t seem very bad, unless i’m missing something. but apparently it bothers her. what we girls don’t do is talk to each other about what really bothers us. we hint at it, but that’s not enough.

i’ll be honest. i don’t see myself having the guts or the stamina to confront all my girlfriends on everything that bothers me. it’s too late for one. i can, however, stop gossiping. this is my new year’s resolution–to cut the gossip, to be aware when i do it, to remember how it feels when someone talks about me. i don’t want to spread the negative energy, especially when it solves nothing.


One comment

  1. That is a great goal for the New Year, bittr!
    I myself despise gossip. It poisons other’s minds and adds to the misery of this world which is miserable enough without us adding to it.
    Stay on top of this one, girl, you’re on the right track.

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